The Return

Its been almost a full year since my last blog post. Big reason I ceased was due to a crappy laptop and the unwillingness to post a blog via my phone. My laptop is STILL crappy, but I feel more willing to use my phone seeing as now I have an iPhone. Hipster-esque, I know. But anyway, I will be posting more often (hopefully), and being a little more open and detailed. Names may be dropped and extreme emotions will run wild when called upon. I want this blog to be something people can enjoy and possibly relate to at times. So heres to the revamp of The Cudi Zone, expression to the fullest!

#WorkForChange (Yes, I still do plan to end my blogs with this hashtag)

My Dedication as a Bulls Fan

First thing is first. I AM A BULLS FAN. I have been since I can remember. The only difference between me and most of you is that I was a fan from 1998-2004 as well. Yes, during the Eddie Robinson, Marcus Fizer, Ron Mercer days. Yes, the Ron Artest "drink during halftime" days. Yes, the Tim Floyd and Bill Cartwright coaching days. If I had any type of Social Networking back then, belive I would have blown it up with Bulls updates.Thats what being a hometown fan is supposed  to do. One thing that frustrates me is the amount of "support" they get from "fans". The same people who openly said they stopped caring when Jordan retired are the first to claim they are die hard Bulls fans, ironically when we get Derrick Rose. Yes, I know every team in every city in every state have fairweather fans, but I believe Chicago is different when itcomes to basketball. We had THE GREATEST player of all time. We were spoiled throughout the 90s with titles. And LITERALLY, once Jordan left, so did the fans. Other teams still had constant attendance, i.e the Knicks, Lakers, etc. Chicago, the UC was so empty, you could swear it was a WNBA game. Sorry for the shot on womens sports there. In 04, we got Goron and Deng, make the playoffs and a surge in fans returned. A year or so, we're bad again, no fans AGAIN. Now here we are, serious title contenders, and the fan base couldnt be higher. Am I happy about the team? EXTREMELY. I love the fact we're dominate again. The fan base is what kills me. Most of these fans now wanna talk to me like theyre on the same level as me as a fan because theyre showing their support NOW rather than THROUGH OUT THE YEARS. Thats what kills me. And another thing is, Im an NBA fan, not just a Bulls fan. So I criticize when needed. If Kobe or LeBron does something good or bad, I talk about it. So if Rose messes up, Ill say he did. If the Bulls struggle, I wont hesistate to say so. Ive earned that for being a fan forever, not just 2 weeks ago. But Bulls "fans" think because I say something negative about the Bulls play, that its because I hate them. PLEASE. I try to be a realist when it comes to the NBA. When I think the Bulls are gunna lose, ill say I think theyre gunna lose. Thats not saying I WANT THEM to lose. You can say thats me not showing faith in my team, fine. Id want them to go 82-0 every year, but I also like to think when it comes to games. If I THOUGHT they would win every game, Id say it. So I guess, sorry for being a realist. Everyone that knows me knows how much I love THIS GAME. It kills me to have to blog, explaining why I sound like I do when it comes to being a NBA/Bulls fan. I believe that true Bulls fans know where Im coming from from the fairweather fan standpoint. And I believe that NBA fans know where Im coming from from the criticizing standpoint. But whatever....GO BULLS.

Frustrated

Title says it all. From a career standpoint, I am NOWHERE near where I wanted to be at this stage of my life. No one to blame but myself.   I have friends who are lawyers, nurses, master mechanics, firefighters, engineers. At 24, I feel Im wasting my talent and my potential to do something big is slowly deteriorating. Need to make moves, need to make them NOW. Gotta stay positive and motivated. Hope God helps lead me in the right direction.

#WorkForChange

Birthday Satisfaction

It is currently 9:10 PM on March 29th. Less than 3 hours until my birthday. I was born in 1988, and if you can correctly do math, you will know that I turn 24. My past few birthdays, I try to play it off as no big deal, like Im too grown to get all excited about it. I cant lie though, I still do get that excited. Not for gifts, like I would when I was younger, but more for the social recognition. I do like when someone takes the time to post on my FB or text me a "Happy Birthday" message. By the way, THANK YOU FACEBOOK; if it wasnt for you informing people when my birthday is, I wouldnt get as much recognition as I would without you! But earlier today, I asked myself, "Am I happy with where I am currently at in my life?" I honestly couldnt even answer it at the time. Now its not like Im depressed or anything like that, Im actually far from it, but I do have some frustrations. If you had told me when I was 16 that at age 24, I would still be working part-time at the local rec center by my house, still living with my parents, and had no relationship that lasted longer than 5 months, I probably would have smacked you in the face and called you a liar. At 16, I knew that I had many talents that I could turn into a succeful career. Draw, act, write, produce, etc. But I did make the mistake of not trying as hard as I should have in High School. So to you youngsters, take advantage what you got, and FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION. Back to my point, so my slacking early on has made a pretty big hole that I am currently trying to dig out of. So when asking myself if I was happy, I couldnt say yes because of that. By now, I wanted to lighten my parents financial burden permanently by having a successful career. They currently still live check-to-check for the most part. I try to chip in with the bills when I can. That , by far, is the most frustrating thing in my life. Not being able to lift that burden from them is a real big downer. I see a lot of my friends starting to settle down with their careers, which I cant be any happier for them about. I see soon to be lawyers, doctors, nurses, engineers, and I must say, kudos to you. You worked hard to get there, so you deserve everything that comes your way. I wish I had that, but I dont. Its not too late to get there, but as of right now, I just dont. So I dont want to call myself a failure just yet. Another frustration is the relationship game. First and foremost, EVERYONE knows my love and appreciation for the opposite sex, LoL. But when it comes to relationships, its like I dont have a clue. I see some of my friends in LONG relationships, still happy, and I guess you can say I get a tad bit jealous. Not that single isnt fun, because it IS, but of course everyone at some point needs something more stable. Im tired of chasing some of these women around too, haha. So these frustrations do stick with me throughout some days, making the days hard to enjoy. BUT. A huge BUT... there are way more things that simply make my life better. The biggest is the fact that at 24, I still have both my parents. I cant explain how grateful and happy I am that I still have them. Some friends and even family of mine unfortunately do not have both around. Having both my parents around ALONE makes my life worth living. And of course  I still have my bro and sis, smart and hardworking, to be extremely proud of. I also have family members who I cant express enough gratitude towards. Theyre always around and just genuinely good people. For instance, my uncle and my cousin drove 45 minutes today just to treat me to an early birthday lunch. With gas prices like this, I cant explain how much it meant for them to come out here! I have others cousins, who are more like best friends, that are around. Forever grateful for my family. And I havent even gotten to my friends yet. I still have friends from the 1st grade. Friends who never left my side, who were there during the worst times of my life. I dont know where I would be if they werent around to keep me sane. They know who they are, so no need for individual shout outs haha. Im going to steal an amazing story/quote that I actuallt just read today through someones FB, and Ill post it right now...

 When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jarand proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed..
'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children.
Spend time with your parents.
Visit with grandparents.
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.
The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

The fact that I read that today kind of makes me see it as a sign. A sign for me to not be so down on myself with those frustrations I stated earlier. Those are all things I know I can fix, as long as I word hard at it. I still have time. And even if I dont, Ill still have those golf balls in my life, which I should focus more on. So now when I ask myself that question I did earlier, I easily respond, "Happy? NO QUESTION. Maybe not fully satisfied. But Happy.....YES."  I have to make sure 24 is an amazing and productive age for me! Happy Birthday to me.

Thanks for reading!

-WorkForChange

What Am I Looking For?

In about one month, I'm turning 24. 24. TWENTY FOUR. I can't remember what I said I wanted to be when I got to this age back when I was in grade school. I don't think I never fully thought about it, even as I was in high school. I knew what I was good at. I've been great when it came to creative writing. I enjoyed getting in front of people and speaking; in fact, one time in Economy class, I was to hold a debate with a fellow student expressing the cons of sales taxing. I hadn't researched my side, so come debate time, all I did was give a speech, mimicing Dr. Martin Luther Kings "I Had A Dream Speech." Though it was hella interesting,entertaining, and pretty intense, I failed the debate bc I used nothing from the textbook like I was supposed to LoL. But back to my point...I never took the time to focus on ONE thing to try and make a life out of. It wasn't until I was 20 when I decided to go to TV/Radio Broadcasting school, where I finally thought I found something worth pursuing. I did great, both behind the scenes as well as on the mic and camera. But once school was over, and it was time to try and make use of the newly earned education, I came up empty. In honesty, I thought I could easily walk into a company and instantly become the next Howard Stern. After rejection after rejection, my motivation to keep pursuing this path started drying up. And now, here I am, almost 24 with no REAL direction. I'm currently working at the local Rec Center part time, where I've been for 3 years. Though its an environment I enjoy, where I spend everyday in a basketball gym, its not what I thought id be doing at this point in my life. I'm currently in the running for the Basketball League Coordinator at Lifetime Fitness. Though that too is part time, id much rather work there. Why? Because I feel its a more respectable job title, which at this point is big for me. I wouldn't be ashamed to tell people "Oh, I'm the Bball League Coordinator for Lifetime Fitness, the biggest gym franchise in the world. And the League I run is 3rd best in the country." As big as money is when it comes to work, respectibility is as important to me. I'm sure if I get that job, it'll soothe my issue of what my career path is for the time being. But in the end, I need to do something soon to solidfy my future. As much as I wish someone could come along with some kind of break for me, I know I ultimately I gotta do it alone. And I have to keep my motivation up if I want to succeed.

#Work4Change

Back Up Your Talk

I assume if you read the blog title, you would think Im talking about me wanting to instigate a fight or something close to that matter. But its not. A little more serious that just caught my attention. But this whole blog started with a video of fighting....well, jumping actually. Theres a recent video of an Asian teenage getting jumped and beat by like 7 white teens. I saw the video and I couldnt help but feel disturbed. First off, let me say, those 7 teens are pathetic and sorry for doing such a thing. You got a problem with him, you settle it 1 on 1. 7 on 1 proves how big of sissies you all are. But back to my point, the one thing I felt was as bad as the actual 7 white kids, are the viewers who say this ISNT news. Theyre the first to say "theres killings in other countries, families lost, war, poverty etc.." Then they have the audacity to tell us to "wake up," and pay attention to world news. Really? REALLY? First off, I, as much as most of the U.S are aware of what goes on in rest of the world, so dont claim we're ignorant to the news. Second, if you are so caught up in third world news, are YOU doing anything to help better those world problems? Are you sending money to the poor over there? Are you trying to find the lost and kidnapped family members? Are you in the actual damn country, standing between a tank and a building? Have you even sent JUST ONE canned good to the hungry? My guess is NO. You know theres problems elsewhere. Good. But dont think that because you happened to catch an episode of the 9 PM news today that all of a sudden youre more aware than your peers. And  now youre offended because people publicly voice how upset they are over incidents like the 7 on 1 beating? An innocent person gets harmed, but you think its not worth gettin ruffled over? Whos ignorant now? You never want to see bad things happen to normal people, whether its a poor family in a third world country, or a single teen from a suburban family in the US.People have the right to voice their disappointment towards negative news like this, so what gives you the right to criticize them for acknowledging it? And unless you are actually doing something to try and solve these world issues, keep your mouth shut and dont act like youre making a difference. So....who needs to wake up now?

You know the deal,
#WorkForChange

First Mobile Blog

Kinda dope that Blogger has an Android Application for mobile blogging! Gunna make it easier for me to catch my thoughts and save them! Now I don't have to rush to my laptop or try hard to remember what I want to say hours after I think it haha. Maybe this will make video blogging easier to? I haven't checked to see if there's a video capture/post option yet. If it is, best believe I'm going to have phone with this application! 2012 = The Year of Cudi Blogging!! Haha, that's all for now.

#WorkForChange